Why?

“I don’t know why I want to do this, why I like to do this. I just do it, and it feels right sometimes.” - Frank Ross in Shortend Magazine

The question that I've been asking myself lately - aside from "Are you crazy?" - is "Why?" Why do I want to pursue my crazy idea?

Well, I tried to answer that question by writing down my thoughts. I wrote down things like "to challenge filmmaking conventions, " to make a film that is "warm, intimate and thought provoking," and something about finding my "unique voice." And sure, I'd like to do all those things, but I couldn't help but feel that I wasn't getting to the heart of the question "Why?"

Later at home with Jenn, as we talked about our respective work days the "Why?" of it all seemed obvious. As hard as we work at our day jobs, as much as we'd like to succeed in a traditional sense, the deeper we get into our careers, the less they "feel right". I think that trying something like my crazy idea, might just shake things up a bit, and give us a chance that in the future we'll be able to earn a living while having more moments that "feel right".

I don't know if I'll wind up with a filmmaking career. (At this point, I don't even know if a career making films is something that I'd even want.) But I do know that there have been times when I've been PAing on a friend's film or capturing some moments on my camcorder where everything just feels right. I guess I'm pursuing this crazy idea in the hope that I'll get some more of those moments.